The other day was my youngest daughters birthday, she turned 4, it was 4 months ago that she was diagnosed. So much has changed in the last 4 years, I could write a book on it, and it would not be a comedy. So much can change in 4 years, so much can change with one little finger prick and a blood glucose meter. In 4 months life has completely change for her, life for our family, so much has happened to a 4 year old little girl who now has a bleeding finger.
I will remember that summer 4 years ago, summer of stress and worry, a summer with a new baby on the way. A month and a half prior that summer I had witnessed a severe situation at work which prompted me to switch jobs. It was good that I changed jobs, but my last day at my old job was the day before my wife was to be induced. So to say the least, baby born on Saturday night, took wife and new baby home Monday, and started my new job that day. A little stressful for our family. A few weeks into job the guy that hired me got the “boot”. Then the company I work for now, called me for an interview and was really interested in me, (should have taken the job then), but I did not. A year later they called me again and I took the job I now have. Seven months later my first child was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes. I’m glad my employer has a Cadillac for health insurance plan and not a Yugo like others companies I have been at.
All was going so well that spring, I was looking to go back to college (again) and my company pays 100 percent if you get an A (they would have paid 100 percent). Everything was falling in line, then bam, the D word came into our lives. Unwisely I put college on hold, along with other things, trying to understand how to care for our daughter. This was kind of hard on our youngest, she was only a year and a half, and could not understand why her older sister was getting so much attention. I always tried to do things with just her so she would not feel like a third wheel with the other 2 girls. My oldest was busy with school and always tried to do little things to help out with her sister and her diabetes.
Then, this spring, in April, the same month her sister was diagnosed 2 years earlier, she too was stricken with this disease. She has told my wife she does not want to have diabetes and often fights us with different phases of her care. It only took my wife six weeks to get her on an insulin pump MiniMed Revel with CGM, filled with insulin and pumping. My wife was very insistent on getting her one ASAP, especially since my daughter insisted on it. She likes her pump, its purple, her favorite color. She even tells people she has purple diabetes. However, she gets so scared when we put in sensors for the CGM, she moves, wiggles and sometimes cries. She hugs her bear or lion and with some love and encouragement she lets us put it in. Each time she gets better, but it still tears us up inside.
So much has changed for her in 4 years, so much more in 4 months. I leave you with this little poem I wrote for her:
Happy Birthday to my youngest,
I wish I could switch for your birthday,
just one day with out diabetes,
if I could give you one gift,
it would be my health and I would gladly take your diabetes,
I could bear the sight of my lows and highs,
It breaks my heart to see yours,
the finger pricks would only be a small poke to my fingers,
your finger pricks break my heart,
the needle for your site would not scare me,
it scares me when I put yours in,
I’m scared it will not work well and you would fell sick from the highs,
But all I can do is give you a hug and a kiss before I put you to bed tonight on your birthday.
Happy birthday again, and someday we will celebrate your first birthday without diabetes,
the first birthday after the cure is found.